There was a time when one narcissist rose in Europe and matched his personal hate into national disgrace and urged the natives to support him on his dire attempt to bring back the glory back when internally he was working on his own greed. Greed to acquire whole of Europe, greed that led to the Second World War, greed that brought more dishonour to Germans than bringing pride. I can feel the same agony now that would have been felt by English or French that time due to same breed of leaders taking over the world from West to East.
The world looks in peril as it lives under the regime of same narcissist leaders, who talks about existence of one kind of people who are natives (myth being the natives are nationalists and patriotic and others don’t care), distributing hatred against people who, for instance, are immigrants and minority groups. In a world where hate spreads faster than love, these leaders and their dumb followers are not leaving any stone unturned in infusing such negativities into the society. Making the environment hostile by controlling the media houses and throwing up hate speeches and negative endorsements into each and every homes through television, is uncommon these days in such countries. Creating and barging on smaller issues rather fighting the most basic problems like poverty, diseases , illiteracy, farmers’ suicides, lack of infrastructure. These leaders have surely taken over with their great art of speaking and convincing people about some problem that doesn’t even exist just to curb the attention from the real problems. By the way, Hitler was also considered a great orator and what a havoc he brought?
Today these leaders are more dangerous than Hitler, because the modern world thrives on social media and internet. The news travels faster from one small place to the whole world. And this medium sadly is overused by such bastards so confidently that the dumb citizens get overcharged with hate when they have misconception that they are behaving patriotic.
The world I crave around me is different than I am thrusted upon in reality.
The contradictions are stronger and the insecurities grow higher in flames.
The questions burn, engulfing the unseen answers with it.
The answers never reveal itself. May be those are just myths.
The solution was never there to the questions which nobody asks but my skeptical mind did.
The ideal world is in my mind and nowhere else.
The conversations, the interactions, the expectations are met in here making me contented with this inner world.
The outer world frightens me with all the enshrouded evils it have within.
So, where is my ideal world, I ask often.
The place where I speak flawlessly, where the peace commences.
The heart break occurences have negligible chances.
The gruesome condition of majority of Indians, middle class families, who are the biggest taxpayers in India, have been a point of big debate for long but without any solution. But on the contrary their condition is worsening as Governments levies more taxes onto them, without matching the expectations this class has on its national leaders and representatives. The demand of electrification, basic infrastructure, cheap and quality education is never met while the taxes are collected properly and ironically transparency is requested from the government on balance sheets of earnings of Indians, but the other way around is promised but never shown a real meaning in Indian history ever by any state. So transparency from taxpayers, but no transparency whatsoever on where this money is invested and spent for the betterment of the society, because we don’t see any improvisation in the world around us. The potholes re appear after every rainwash. The transformers burst every now and then, leaving people into darkness metaphorically we are into darkness since the dawn of independance.
The government looks flabbergasted by the terms digital India and other fascinating words but completely ignoring the fact that judicial and policing system is crumbling badly. The instance of few weeks back, when one of my colleague fall victim of theft in a bus while she was asleep, and the fact that she was denied lodging FIR for the incident, throws a light onto this prevailing darkness here. A country that is doing great due to private firms that are ensuring employability in IT sector and other profitable but privately owned industries doesn’t prove that Government is doing great. Taking credits for such advancements and not properly having any hand in such great feats, looks an old habit of any government that settled here ever.
Finally, the goverment appear to be a person who owns a barren land and doesn’t know what to do anything out of it, sells it to a builder (private businesses) to do anything onto it and just give profit in the form of rent (taxes). That kind of an attitude gives development but it is highly unsustainable, where exploitation of not only natural resources but people happens in no good light. And I am afraid that we are on the same path of a boom that have an inevitable crash at the end due to its unsustainable nature.
A millenium that boast upon showing off rather actually mean things or convert the flamboyant speeches or words into real actions, it becomes hard for the logical population that surprisingly exist on a small number as minority, to take a stand now and then. In an era where the positive terms means different to different people owing to their common sense and take on intellectual subject matter, it really is hard to categorise himself into such terms for a honest person. The terms, for instance, “nationalist” and “religious” are becoming the matter of debates and arguments over the world. To be religious can mean two things unfortunately, that you go to worship place everyday to just show off or you are actually doing some good deeds out of humanity for people to make a positive impact. I am afraid, but former is becoming a more popular trend than the latter that encourages inclusion of moral values and basic humanity. When people like to go to pilgrimages for more out of vacation mood than truly being spiritual, the question arises to be or not to be such kind of religious.
Also for the sake of instilling patriotism into the masses, when wrong means are used by the so called “nationalists” leaders to completely re fabricate the meaning altogether, the same question of to be or not to be such a nationalist ponders into the heart of our sensibilities that we have, undoubtedly, sold in exchange of materialist goods and physical lust. The world burns while the things are only spoken rather worked upon in real sense.
I am alienated, an observer, an outsider, don’t want to participate but I am forced to, owing to social protocols and urges of physical embodiment. And I fail miserably while doing so. It looks like my spirit is on its own. It doesn’t care what is going on outwardly. So, mostly the things I am doing in this outside world is half-heartedly and thus gaining nothing in the context of better relationships or acquaintance. For instance, I went for a gym membership 2 years back, where only time I can go is in the morning. I hardly went 6 times in a month and whenever I was there, I did exercises for the sake of doing it and moving out of the hell as soon as possible. It was just like going to those tutions after school, an extra baggage, an additional wastage of time. And same feelings and traumas I have when I get into team building activities at office. I want to escape those or least I expect those to pass sooner than it starts to overwhelm me in a negative way.
My soul and body walking two different roads most of the times, give rise to contradictions about my personality and thus creates that big hole of self doubt in me. I am stuck between a reality and a pseudo reality created by these attributes of mine. And that results in social awkwardness that I realize as soon as that happens, but can’t help it. And also that pertains to moments that can’t be expressed in words when I feel how come I ended up here walking or driving. That moment looks like when I woke up from a deep sleep of spiritual slumber, realizing the physical being doing some action. It will be weird to say a truth, that most of the times I (spiritual being) see this body doing things like speaking, walking, listening in this pragmatic world and feel disconnected at the same time.